Solitude. When you’re a full time event planner, wife and mother with a side hustle (or a college student working two jobs, or a father who also cares for his … Continue reading The Sanctuary
Tag: self love
The Re-Build
This happens every so often. It happens to everyone and we all have different ways to deal. Since getting angry, feeling lonely, fighting frustration, and obsession seem to be failing me in the self-help department I’ve decided to flip it and reverse it. To say I’m seeking enlightenment makes me sound like I’m going to give up my first-world lifestyle in lieu of a life lived at a secluded monastery on a high Tibetan mountaintop (which actually sounds pretty amazing!) I mean practical enlightenment that I can practice and carry with me everyday in this insane place we call America.
About 10 years ago (give or take) I was first introduced to the Eckhart Tolle bestseller The Power of Now by a friend who recognized that I was in a state of constant struggle in my life. Things weren’t particularly rosy at the time and I wasn’t handling it well. Reading this for the first time I was struck by the absolute true-ness to his teachings and the ease with which I was able to take back some semblance of functional adulthood in application. But without practice, you lose your abilities. I let the practice of presence slide, which is incredibly easy to do when you are surrounded by those who are just as f*cked up as you are.
That was about the time I began practicing yoga. I felt good in those days. But again, I let that practice slip away. Part of it was financial. Part was because I had an unwanted admirer. I loved my studio, the teachers, the feeling I would get before, during, and after class.
A lot has happened since I first started to think about enlightenment. So much has happened. And now I’m seeing that this is a pursuit that I absolutely must continue. Changing my mindset in how I react to my life situations and all the stresses that come up from health problems, to relationship issues, to busy times at work will only make me a happier and healthier person. If my being would spring to life by simply practicing presence, stillness, and non-reactiveness then why on Earth wouldn’t I!? It is free, accessible at all times, and changes everything. It is already within my power to do.
I’m re-reading The Power of Now. I’m also practicing meditation every day. I’ve been going back to my beautiful yoga studio. I’m cultivating an extensive reading list of books to read. I’m de-cluttering my digital life. I’m strengthening myself from the inside. I’m opening myself up to the things that are and following through with presence and grace to reach my goals. This is a lifelong journey.
So light your incense and bang that temple gong. It’s about to get metaphysical.
I Should be on the Side of a Milk Carton
Because I obviously went missing.
Life does that to you. One minute you are full of dedication and enthusiasm for a cause or task and then next you are dragged away to take care of something more immediate and pressing. Careers get in the way of our hobbies and responsibilities to others encroach on our “me time.”
This month, the month of my birth, I am taking back my time. Never one to toot my own horn (and very likely to just give my horn to someone else completely) I generally don’t put myself, my needs, or my accomplishments ahead of others. But maybe that’s a huge reason why my self esteem is lying in a crumpled heap in a dark corner? Perhaps in order for others to value my existence and contribution to the planet as a whole, I need to first value myself.
Don’t look at me that way.
Work just kicked my ass hard. I spent all of August and most of September in a flare up of either Rheumatoid Arthritis or Fibromyalgia (no one really knows) and it sucked. We put in long hours with all the stress and all the physical labor. Stress, lifting, little to no sleep, long exhausting hours? No wonder I was in a flare. But that all came to a close at the end of September and now life can return to a normal rhythm. I decided that this is the perfect opportunity to reset my entire self. Celebrate my birth month, treat myself to the little things I enjoy, relax, partake in my hobbies, run and take photos!
And I’m doing just that.
#TeamKAG 