As I sit here, leg elevated and knee wrapped in ice, I’m inclined to look back at my life choices to reflect on how I got here and also to … Continue reading REO Speedwalking
Tag: pain management
Sunny Mood
Let’s talk about managing stress and anxiety.
My expertise comes with no pedigree as I’m only speaking for myself based on my own experiences and results. So, take that for what you will, but certainly don’t take it for advice.
It’s no secret that I struggle with anxiety and depression. Or maybe it is because I feel like I hide it relatively well and that people just think I’m an antisocial bitch. While not entirely wrong I prefer the term “pro-solitude” to “antisocial.” I don’t know how much of the anxiety and depression are related to fibromyalgia or rheumatoid arthritis, but my moods and my pain levels tend to run around in circles after one another.
At the start of March I decided to do something about it. I’m not a prescription seeker and generally try to find more natural remedies to the things that ail me. Still, I’d noticed that when I’d take my tramadol for pain, it would lighten my mood. It turns out this wasn’t my imagination or just my being happier with less pain, it’s a real thing. Again, I’m no doctor so if you are interested in why this is, please read HERE. What this showed me was that there is an imbalance in my brain that responds to treatment.
I did a lot of research and reading on supplements that help alleviate anxiety, depression, and pain. I also did a lot of research on what supplements could have potential interactions with my prescriptions. I finally settled on Sunny Mood by Irwin Naturals. (Nope, not endorsed by them, but if you go by how much my husband talks it up since he started taking it you’d think he was.) It works. It just does. I even brought it up to my doctor and she gave me her stamp of approval to keep on truckin’.
Besides being able to better handle stress at work, I don’t cry every day anymore, and I’m not taking as many pain killers. Last week I put on the NCAA DI Track & Field West Prelims and all through the planning process leading up and all the way to the second to the last day of the meet I didn’t break down. I snapped over golf cart keys on Friday morning, but no one is perfect. These gigantic yellow pills have been a saviour.
Besides the addition of Sunny Mood I’ve also been practicing presence and mindfulness and studying Buddhist philosophy. I’m calming the fuck down and it has me reevaluating so many things in my life. But that’s another post.
Balancing
Balancing acts are hard. They just are. All of them.
It doesn’t matter if you are trying to manage your work/life balance or teetering on the verge of failing on another diet, the choices we make and the thoughts that lead to those choices lead to noise and chaos in our brains and ultimately in our bodies.
One of many balancing acts I’ve been performing is the acceptance/denial of living with chronic pain. But perhaps not in the way that one would expect.
Here’s the wrinkle:
If I accept the fact that I have chronic pain that creeps into my life and how it affects my ability to do the things that I want, am I truly accepting this fact if I want to tell my story to bring awareness and inspiration to others? By accepting that which is, but also indulging in discussion on the subject, am I simply feeding my ego and therefore not truly accepting?
This is a ridiculous point to most, I’m sure. What difference does it make? It makes a difference when you are working on healing your mind to get out from under depression and therefore more pain. See the cycle?
When I just get out and do the things there is nothing special about it to anyone other than me. When I tell others that I’m living with chronic pain AND getting out and doing the things then there is a “wow!” that follows. It has inspired some and while I found that motivating at first, I find it rather exhausting at the moment. But which is the right way to be? There must be a balance.
There needs to be a balance of my accepting the pain, not dwelling on the pain, getting out and doing, being inspirational, avoiding depression from thinking about it all the time. I’m spinning a lot of plates. It is surprisingly difficult to clear the clutter from your mind. The moments when I do are joyful and physically feel so much better. The change is incredible.
Rude Awakening
It was 2AM when I checked the time. First thing I noticed was the searing pain in my hands. “Why!?!? Just let me sleep!!!”
Yesterday, I began my day with 25mg of CBD, had 800mg of ibuprofen for lunch, took another 25mg of CBD and 50mg of tramadol at bedtime AND STILL WOKE FROM PAIN AND INFLAMMATION AT 2AM.
The tramadol/ibuprofen combo will work if I take it medicinally every 4 hours. But my God, who wants all that in their system? Not to mention the drowsiness.
I’ve been fairly inactive this month. Running has been too hard. I need to get moving though. Get on the stationary bike, walk, just get moving very, very gently until this flare up goes away.
Unless I’ve been building it. Do you think my running 12 miles a week and cross training one or two times a week was too much? Jeez. How gentle do I have to be!?!?
I’m angry. Flare-ups suck. And like my rheumatologist said, you never know when one is going to stick.
Well, stay healthy my friends. And keep kicking ass gently.
#TeamKAG 