Balancing acts are hard. They just are. All of them.

It doesn’t matter if you are trying to manage your work/life balance or teetering on the verge of failing on another diet, the choices we make and the thoughts that lead to those choices lead to noise and chaos in our brains and ultimately in our bodies.

One of many balancing acts I’ve been performing is the acceptance/denial of living with chronic pain. But perhaps not in the way that one would expect.

Here’s the wrinkle:

If I accept the fact that I have chronic pain that creeps into my life and how it affects my ability to do the things that I want, am I truly accepting this fact if I want to tell my story to bring awareness and inspiration to others? By accepting that which is, but also indulging in discussion on the subject, am I simply feeding my ego and therefore not truly accepting?

This is a ridiculous point to most, I’m sure. What difference does it make? It makes a difference when you are working on healing your mind to get out from under depression and therefore more pain. See the cycle?

When I just get out and do the things there is nothing special about it to anyone other than me. When I tell others that I’m living with chronic pain AND getting out and doing the things then there is a “wow!” that follows. It has inspired some and while I found that motivating at first, I find it rather exhausting at the moment. But which is the right way to be? There must be a balance.

There needs to be a balance of my accepting the pain, not dwelling on the pain, getting out and doing, being inspirational, avoiding depression from thinking about it all the time. I’m spinning a lot of plates. It is surprisingly difficult to clear the clutter from your mind. The moments when I do are joyful and physically feel so much better. The change is incredible.